Are trendy coffee shops really just live action Apple commercials in disguise?

Photo Credit: Emily Mills

If you’re reading this article, chances are you have found yourself stumbling into that new, hip coffee shop which recently opened in your neighborhood, and you wanna see what all the hubbub is about.

When you walk into this trendy coffee shop, you may notice something peculiar… And I’m not talking about the green hair and nose rings all the baristas seem to have as if it’s an contractual obligation to look “unique”. I’m talking about the customers. You may notice they all have something in common.

They’re all young, but that’s not really the odd part. They’re all on laptops, but even that feels more coincidental, than truly weird. The strangeness lies in the fact that most of them are on different variations of the same laptop.

They all have Macs. Sometimes it’s a Macbook Pro, sometimes it’s a Macbook Air, and sometimes it’s just a plain old Macbook. Every so often you’ll get that one guy who spices things up with an ipad, but even that’s still an Apple product. So how could this be? What are the chances that so many random people who patronize the same coffee shop own the same computer? Is there some sort of connection between caffeine consumption and Apple products? Since we know people have been consuming caffeinated beverages way before Steve Jobs bought his first set of turtlenecks; we’re left to ponder how can such a strange phenomenon occur? Unless of course, there is a full blown conspiracy!

Apple has always had a reputation for innovation and marketing; so what if instead of televised commercials, they hired actors to go to coffee shops in “hip” gentrifying neighborhoods?

Hipness is a fleeting quality. When something isn’t popular there is a certain level of hipness to it, but once it becomes popular hipsters are off to new, uncharted territory. The fountain of pretension is an elusive creature. So how has Apple been able to explode in popularity and still keep its hipness? By maintaining the illusion of hipness!

The hipsters’ need to be unique is actually more group oriented than you may realize. This often times leads them to the same cities. It is a possibility that Apple keeps track of where hipsters are, and where hipsters may go. If Apple is capable of manufacturing paper-thin laptops, I’m sure they’re capable of in depth analysis regarding urban neighborhoods on the verge of gentrification. Once a trendy coffee shop opens that’s when they ideally strike. Does Apple send thousands of actors to all 4 corners of the United States to infiltrate the coffee shops, Apple products in hands?

Once the “real” hipsters get there, they feel left out. They beg their parents to buy them an Apple product, preferably a Macbook, when this happens, they proudly go back to the same coffee shop, hipster pride intact. As the new Mac owners arrive, Apple slowly pulls the actors out of the coffee shops, one person at a time, and then they open an Apple store in the same neighborhood within walking distance of the coffee shop, adding convenience to the manufactured demand.

Think about it. Crazier things have happened.

Bay Area native, Hip Hop nerd, literature and poetry enthusiast, freelance writer, gamer, caffeine addict. Follow me on Twitter.

Bay Area native, Hip Hop nerd, literature and poetry enthusiast, freelance writer, gamer, caffeine addict. Follow me on Twitter.