BART is entirely too f**king loud!

Most people who live in, work in or visit the San Francisco Bay Area have on one occasion or another taken BART to get around. And when they get on the train they will undoubtedly be greeted with the sound of ear-splitting screeches all the way to their destination.

The BART trains are so loud that I think people who are capable of sleeping on the train should be whisked away to laboratories by scientists and physicians at world-renown hospitals to run tests to determine if these sleepy individuals possess any other super-human abilities that we have yet to discover.

The screech is so loud that I often wonder why the CIA hasn’t by now somehow implemented BART into its torture sessions.

CIA Agent: “Where’s the bomb?!?”

Terrorist suspect: “I don’t what you’re talking about.”

Agent: “Oh, so you wanna play hardball, huh? Put him on the train!”

Rookie Agent: “The tracks?”

Agent: “You think we’re gonna let this guy off that easy? No, we’re going to actually make him ride the train.”

Rookie Agent: “But isn’t that in direct violation of the Geneva Convention?”

Agent: “I don’t care, put him on the train.”

SCCCCRREEEEEEEEECCCCCHHHHH

Terrorist suspect: “OH GOD THAT SOUND! I’LL TELL YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT TO KNOW! JUST PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!”

Agent: “These liberals think waterboarding is bad, they’ve clearly never heard of Bay Area Rapid Transit.”